home free

I hope you all had great a Christmas/whatever holiday! I was glad to get away from ghost-town Norman to spend time with my family. I spent most of the weekend eating, drinking, and sleeping. Which, I mean, let's be honest: I'm in college, that's normally what I do on a daily basis. But it was great to do it in different company!

I've been working this week so I haven't had much time to play with all my new stuff but I'm already loving my new Kindle and my new Nike Frees.

Not a great picture but they're super bright orange (I know, I know) and dark pink. Can't wait to get out of this brace and try running in them!

As I said, Norman is so dead I've been calling it Bore-man. I hope they're having awesome breaks with their families, but I so can't wait for my roommates to get back. I feel way worse about sitting around watching TV if Jessi isn't doing it with me! My mom got us a movie night gift which I can't wait to bust out when they get back.

Other than that, I've just been walking, working, waiting for these next three weeks to be up and focusing on eating right.

Today's lunch!

 

 

 

 

Beside the movie night and holidays, my goal is to eat 5-6 small, healthful meals most every day this next year. Here's hoping!


I've got to go get ready for work. I've got a couple of friends and family tickets by the way so if anyone wants some, hollaa!

a christmas blog post

So this is probably going to end up being really goofy and sappy but ‘tis the season, right?

Last night was the annual Christmas Eve candlelight service at the good old First Christian Church. While sitting there, seriously considering drawing on a Piddle Pad*, I got to thinking about some things. First of all, when did I and all these people grow up? Agh!
Looking around the sanctuary that I grew up in, it’s hard to believe all the things that have transpired within my and my church family’s lives while I was there and since I’ve left. It’s almost like some weird space time continuum where the surroundings are completely the same (or very similar) but most of the people have drastically changed since the last time I saw them.
Seeing all these people again reminds me of how much they have made an impact on my life, though I may not see it every day. I know it was like pulling teeth for my mother to drag me out of bed and get me to church (especially in my high school years), but I’m glad she did. Whether or not it was in a religion-related way, I know the whole experience helped to make me the person that I am today. A good portion of my childhood occurred at that church or with people I attended it with and I’m grateful to have all the memories and stories that come from it.

Another thing I started to think about is regret. In a way, it’s sad that at the age of 21, I already have so many regrets. It also motivates me to continue to live my life in the way that I see fit and keep myself happy. Throughout my life, I’ve always succumbed to whatever everyone else wanted to do and sacrificed my happiness in order to keep all other parties happy. I’ve always been aware that I do this but I’m finally realizing at just how much it wears on my own happiness. I think I sacrifice what I want to do in order to hold on to friendships but I end up losing those relationships because I give up and get tired of it. In healthy relationships, there has got to be a balance. That’s why my only resolution for this coming year is to stop doing that and to start living my life like I want to instead of watching opportunities pass me by.

So on that note, it’s time to start weighing some pros and cons and deciding who I am and where I want to be. And what better way to kick that off than by watching It’s A Wonderful Life on Christmas afternoon? :)

I hope you all have a wonderful Christmas and beautiful, fattening, family-filled, fun holidays! 

*Piddle Pads are pieces of paper constructed to keep children entertained during a church service instead of disrupting it. On the contrary, I think they might have helped add to our disruptiveness.

pre post op

My 8-week post-op is on Monday and I am so ready for it. The feeling in my back is steadily coming back and I have little to no pain so I'm interested to see what the fusion looks like and what the doc says. I will be requesting copies of the x-rays and scanning them on to my computer. I'm actually about to search Pinterest for some ways to frame and commemorate the whole experience. :)
I've also been informed to just go ahead and talk to him about starting physical therapy. I'm not positive, but I'll probably just fold over at the middle if I take the brace off without strengthening my back.
I need to make a list of things to bring up so I'll just start it on here. Feel free to give me any suggestions if I miss something.

1. Physical therapy- when, where, how long.
2. X-rays- can I get some copies?
3. Brace- exactly when the crap can I get rid of this thing and if I have to keep it for much longer, can I get some replacement velcro straps? because mine are seriously disgusting at this point.
4. Exercising- how much can I lift at a time, when can I start running, can I start swimming, basically: let me start again, thanks.
5. Work- I feel pretty useless when it comes to moving stuff around at this point because I'm afraid to do too much. I need to figure out what I can do and what I absolutely cannot do.
6. Nerve damage: what is normal, will I ever get full feeling back, etc.

Uhh, that's all I can think of right now and I've got to go get ready for work. You would think with the broken back and school being over, I wouldn't be able to procrastinate but somehow I still manage it.

Oh, and speaking of school- I still have not heard from my professor about whether or not I passed Italian. Cross your fingers.

Hope you're all having great weekends!

passing

My life is like this right now:

Do anything and everything you can to pass Italian so you do not have to suffer through more confusion next semester. I've already finished my other 2 classes with A's so this class and language are my main focus right now. It is so ridiculously hard!

Other than that, I had a boy finish cutting my cookie sheet and finished the magnet board. The magnets I got are definitely not strong enough to hold up my makeup, so it's pretty much just framed scrapbook paper at this point. :)

I've still been keeping myself busy with trying random recipes I see on Pinterest.

S'mores cookies minus the Hershey's pieces! I skipped the Hershey's A.) because I'm lazy and B.) because the chocolate is my least favorite part of a s'more.

Roasted some sweet potatoes with cinnamon the other day. They were pretty freaking good! Might try sweet potato fries tonight.

I've been keeping up my walking and lifting pretty often. People at the Huff continue to stare at me like I'm terminal and about to fall over. At this point, I really don't care about people staring at me, I'm just ready to get back to normal!
I keep getting random pains that freak me out but I'm sure that's just part of recently having rods screwed into your spine. :) The brace is still an annoyance so I just keep reminding myself that I could be way worse off. Plus, if everything goes well, I only have 37 days left wearing it.

Back to studying Italian. I'll probably have some more interesting things to blog about after I get this final over with!

backbored

I'm a little over a month out of surgery and doing about as well as or better than can be expected, I think. I'm sure I actually do more than I should be at this point but I never have any pain and my back feels fine.

I had a great Thanksgiving with the fam. Walked the Edmond Turkey Trot that morning. My sister, Shylia, ran it and came back to walk the rest of the way with me. Throughout the beginning of this holiday season, I've been even more aware of how thankful I am for my family. They've all be incredibly supportive through this situation and I couldn't ask for a better one! :)

Speaking of the holidays, I'm really ready for them. School is not super stressful for me right now because of the dropped classes and I'm pretty much just bored. This is what I did this weekend with that boredom:

 

Credit to Kyle for the Keystone Light tree topper. He knows that the inhabitants of this apartment are classy enough to leave it on there.

Unfortunately, Riggins wanted to give his input in the decorations and it now looks like this:

 

I ignored and left it like that yesterday because, let's be real, I'm never gonna be bored enough to put a tree up 2 times. Instead, I went to Hobby Lobby after class and found this:

for just 10 bucks! That's like, a LOT of scrapbook paper and I'm pretty pumped about it. I've been pinning, of course, and definitely want to make this magnet make-up board. I've already started but I'm having trouble cutting a cookie sheet to make it fit the frame.

 Frame's painted and good to go.

Magnets are on the back of all my make-up. Really, just need the cookie sheet. Turns out cutting metal is not that easy.

Anyway, I'm off to my class and then I get to study Italian for the rest of the day. Hollaaa.

running matters

I would give 1 million dollars to be able to run right now. It has been over a month, probably the longest stretch of time I’ve gone without running in 2 years. I want to hear my feet hitting the pavement and my “Work it Out” playlist banging in my ears. I want so badly to be able to just put my headphones in, blast out the door, and get 6 miles in for the day.
As a “young adult,” entering college, the idea of running 5ks and marathons blew my mind. Never in my life did I believe that I would be able to pick my fat butt up and run 8 miles at a time. I’ve been so proud of myself in the last two years. I have NEVER been able to motivate myself to do anything like I have been able to motivate myself to run. It has been even more challenging to let that part of my life go for the time being.

The wind against you, you’re heart beating like crazy, hacking and heaving, brain pounding: it’s freaking beautiful. It’s as if all odds are against you and it’s just you and the sidewalk in front of you. You’re about to show that sidewalk who’s the boss of this 3 miles and that it can totally suck it. I would give everything I own to be able to go back to normal, walk out my front door, and go for a run.

Moral of the story? Please remember when you’re dreading that long run: you could be without the ability to take it on. Your (or anyone’s) situation could change in a second. You could be sitting on a couch somewhere but instead, you’re making a difference. It may not be a huge difference and you may not be changing the world but you’re making a difference in your own life. So go out there and get it done! Accomplish your goals however big or small they might be because there might come a day when you can no longer do the thing you wish to accomplish. <3

back aches and cupcakes

I was having a lot of pain yesterday and decided not to do any walking. I put my boredom and extra time to good use and learned how to make this recipe for a spinach, brown rice, and corn "cupcake." (Thanks again, Pinterest!) It's basically a frittata with all those ingredients but baked in a cupcake pan. They turned out pretty good (except I definitely need to add more cheese next time).

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I had to Google "how to saute" because I'm that kitchen-inept. I'm still not really sure what it means, but I just went with it.
 

I didn't so much "shred" the spinach like the directions say; more like I tore it into big chunks. I'm a big fan of spinach but I don't often use it outside of salad, so I've been looking around for recipes that call for it.

I never really learned to cook and I don't have the patience to make it a hobby but it's good to know I have a few healthy staples in my arsenal that I can at least somewhat pull off.

That was my big cooking adventure for the week. It's back to microwave soup cups and salad for now! :)

back track

I’m one of those people who are not good at being sick. I will try to run 4 miles while I’m coughing and hacking and then get frustrated when I don’t beat my time. This is not translating well to having a broken back. I feel like I have so many better things to do than sit around in this brace. I think it makes it worse that I am not in pain and I don’t feel weak so I have it in my head that I’m still capable of doing all the things that I used to. Not the case.

So basically I have to constantly remind myself that 1.) it is temporary and 2.) I’m beyond lucky that it didn’t end up worse.

64 more days in this brace; it’s time to suck it up and force myself to have patience. I’ll be running again before I know it.

normal in norman

I am officially back in Norman and back in the swing of things! I drove myself back (with my mom following me) on Wednesday evening and I got back in my classes on Thursday. I’ve been back to the Huff to walk the track and do some arm workouts. I also went out to the Wormy Dog on Friday night to see Corey Smith. So beside wearing the brace, not being able to lift more than 10 pounds and not being able to run, I’m pretty much back to normal.

back to Norman!

 

Driving is a little bit uncomfortable but nothing that I can’t handle. My brace rides up and with my arms straight out, I get all sorts of top-brace action in my business. Once I’m out of the car (which takes a little longer than it used to), I’m good to go.

 

Since I hadn’t taken any pain meds in a few days, I jumped right in to my six pack of Fat Tire. I was saving it as celebration for finishing my 20 page paper but since my back was broken and I had to drop that class, I decided I deserved it anyway :).

Walking at the Huff is depressing in that I'm not able to do everything that I used to do. At the same time it's also giving me time to catch up on my reading. It takes SO much longer to walk 2 miles than it does to run it. I usually read on my phone, so I started a new book on Friday afternoon while I was walking. I just have to make sure I look up every now and then so I don't run into any one.

I'm back in classes, thus back to taking pictures of myself in Gaylord bathrooms. These were taken before and during my Thursday night class which is 3 hours long. I definitely had to get up a few times just to move around. My 50 minute and my 90 minute classes are not bad and I've been able to sit through them without getting up.

I finally got to see Corey Smith! I got a lot of strange looks but only one person actually said something to me and I'm not really sure what it was because he was pretty drunk. It's definitely weird to be the girl in the back brace, but I'm not going to let it stop me from enjoying my last year as a college student. Kenny Stills even tweeted that he was going to sign it :)!

Anyway, this was crazy long but I'm done. I've got to clean and organize the heck out of my room and then try 3 miles on the track today. I'd really like to walk outside because it's so nice but I'm not chancing being a mile and half away from my apartment and falling or something crazy. I'll just leave the windows down on my way there.

Enjoy the rest of your weekends!

positive yardage

Got in a 2 mile walk yesterday evening! I really wanted to Forrest Gump it and run just to see if my brace would fall off and I would be healed but I held back.

It was pretty blustery and bleak outside. I miss the 100 degree weather.

I think it's a pretty good sign that I didn't have very much pain after the walk! I haven't had any pain meds since 6 o'clock Monday evening so I'm good to drive back to Norman tonight. I'll be back in classes tomorrow afternoon and I'm definitely ready to get back on track. Not gonna lie, I'm a little scared about getting back on my own. Some things are still pretty difficult to do by myself but I know I can, I'll just have to have some patience. Not my forte, but I'll deal. :)

Speaking of things that are hard to do, I'm about to go try and make sure I have everything packed up. After living here for almost two weeks, that could take a while!

postoperative operating

My post-op appointment was incredibly promising, as I had hoped it would be. The fracture is healing as well as expected and the doctor said I will be really happy with the scar that the incision leaves. (They glued it instead of stapled so it should be pretty faint.) I got all my questions answered and I now have a better handle on what I can and cannot do.

The most important thing that I CAN do?

 Go back to Norman!!

Don’t get me wrong, I love my mom and living with her the last few weeks has been great (popcorn and movie nights with her are the best). I am just so ready to get back to normal and moving back to Norman seems like the biggest step towards that.

There are going to be some challenges, most of which I think I’ve thought out and planned a course of action. I definitely don’t want to be a burden on my roommates so I’m trying to anticipate every situation I might come across. I’ve already mentally switched sides of the bed (which is kind of a bummer, I hope I can sleep), and I’ll be acquiring a lamp as well as a robe. I think I’m ready to get back into the swing of things and if something comes up, I’ll just have to deal with it as best I can.

I can drive as long as I’m not on narcotics however I’ll probably be taking my apartment’s shuttle to campus every day just to keep things easy. I’ll keep an update on how many weird looks my brace and I get.

Speaking of pain meds, I haven’t taken any since 6 pm yesterday and I’m feeling pretty good. I am able to sit up for long periods of time without much discomfort and I’m hoping to walk a mile at some point today. It’s really cold outside and unfortunately my Uggs don’t make for great walking shoes so we’ll see how far I actually make it.

The period of time I’ll be in the brace was the only disconcerting thing that came up during the post-op. The doctor said he would like to see me in it for 12 weeks instead of 8. I’ve already got 2 weeks down but that still keeps me in this thing until January 17^th. I’m going to do my best to get used to it and not let it bother me. I’ll be at the Wormy Dog this weekend and I’m going to the Iowa State game as well as Bedlam. It’s not the ideal situation but it’s a whole hell of a lot better than not being able to go out at all. And hey, maybe I’ll figure out some way to bling out the brace. Anybody got a BeDazzler?

Well I’ve got to go study some Italian since I’ll be back in class and thoroughly confused on Friday. Enjoy your Tuesdays!

giving thanks

November has rolled around and, as usual, everyone is beginning to talk about what they’re thankful for. I know we should be thinking about this stuff all year long but I’ve been kind of bummed out about my situation this weekend so it seems like a good time to reflect on a few of the positive things I have going on in my life.

I’ll start with this one in respect to timeliness: I got my brace on by myself for the first time yesterday morning! It wasn’t even as hard as I thought it would be and I did it again with no problem this morning. I am getting pretty sick of having to let people do the simplest stuff for me, like carry my heavier bags or picking stuff up that I drop, so this is definitely exciting for me.

Norman and football season. I don’t think I ever fully realized just how much not having student season tickets is going to suck until missing these last two home games. 

Trying and failing to wake up in time to watch Gameday, deciding what to wear, tailgating, drinking, getting ID'd by cops (Bethany and Natalie), screaming your head off, cheering for the Circle K race (Bethany and Natalie again. And I'm gonna need a report on who won the last two games!) I honestly have no idea how or why anyone decides not to like Oklahoma football. I actually miss Boomer and Sooner despite the fact that all mascots freak me out. So even though I’m not going to finish school on time, at least I’ll have one more student season!

My mom and I after the Race for the Cure on October 15 (a week before the accident).

Running and the ability to exercise. Throughout my whole life I have been pretty damn uncoordinated. I run into things like doors, walls, and dressers that have been in the exact same place for over a year. I have to focus in order to catch anything thrown at me and I sure can’t throw it back. It’s pretty sad and it’s kept me from participating in sports because I hate doing anything that I’m bad at. Luckily, I have come to find out that you don’t have to do any of that stuff while you’re running. It's definitely not easy and there have been times when I thought I'd pass out before I ever got back home but I really love it. I've never had the ability to push myself to succeed in something like I can with running.
After the initial shock of slamming into the wall, my my mind immediately went to my mobility. I could move my arms and legs so I knew I wasn't in awful shape but I was beyond scared of how everything was going to turn out. I am so thankful to have only shattered the one vertebra and beyond lucky that things did not end up worse. When the time comes around, I'll be more than ready to get back in shape and get to running again.

Last, and definitely the most important: my family and friends. I honestly don't know how to sum this one up in just a paragraph. There are tons of people I could mention and if I did, I'd probably start crying because I'm a total wuss like that. I just want you all to know that you are appreciated and I don't know where I'd be without your support!

I'm off to get ready for my post-op appointment (which the 15 questions I wrote down might prove that I'm also thankful for). I'll give an update on that tomorrow. Have a great Monday!